i desire. i demand.

what causes fights and quarrels among you? don't they come from your desires that battle within you? you want something but don't get it. you kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. you quarrel and fight. you do not have, because you do not ask God. when you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
james 4:1-3

so desire isn't bad. to desire love, to desire acceptance, to desire value and worth. He wired us this way, we were designed to desire these things. but because we are broken, because we are sinners, we've tainted it.

"just as cars were made to run on gas, so we were made to run on Him"
cs lewis

we try to fulfill those desires with creation. when He is enough, He is sufficient. He designed us to be fully satisfied in delighting and enjoying Him forever.

idolatry is desire turned to demand

i understand this intellectually, but how often do i live this way? i begin finding my value and worth in their love and acceptance. an idol is born. i begin expecting encouragement and affirmation. i demand. i begin giving only to receive. i punish. i elevate my desire to need, when my only true need is Christ.

whom have i in heaven but you?
and earth has nothing i desire besides you.
my flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
psalm 73:25-26

may we rejoice that Hope has ransomed us, and that we idolaters are accounted our saviors righteousness.

and may we worship and delight in the One who is worthy, who holds all things together, and who offers life... that is truly life.