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once more

it's been a pretty craptastic week or two. i can't seem to get into rhythm. i'm in this weird limbo/transition period right now, and i don't like it. God has been revealing a lot of idols in my heart lately. i keep telling Him what i want, and He keeps asking if i trust Him... i don't really like this dialog. i mean i do, but it's been difficult. i deeply desire more of Him, and yet i struggle against it. i debating how much to share of what's floating in my head, because a lot of my thoughts would seem pretty random to most, and yet somehow they all fit together for me. i have a lot of time, and yet i feel like God has been calling me to be still. i try to get lost in distraction, and so i've been struggling with sin. lust and gluttony are my distractions of choice. oh how easily i wander, how easily i'm pulled away and ensnared by the immediate relief they offer. i've been doing a lot of remembering lately, a lot of reflecting. i miss a lot of things... God why do i have these memories, what would you have me to do with them? how easily i doubt His promises, how quickly i forget His faithfulness. i'd like to leave this all tidy and concluded, but sitting here, i feel like a mess. i can't always finish with answers because i'm still in progress.

fervently and unceasingly

dear beloved

there are those moments of clarity when things come into focus, and you just know.

you beg and plead for answers, to just understand... and He responds.

how many times do we ask and not listen? how many times have we cried out and assumed Him silent.

but in knowing, can we hold unswervingly to the Hope that we have? can we trust Him, completely and entirely...

we know Him trustworthy and yet tremble at His response.

have you ever been shook to the core, to the very fiber that holds you together?

praying fervently and unceasingly:

that you would know a love that surpasses understanding
that in Him you would find breath and life and every good thing
that you would lose your life to gain it

a dim reflection,
yours

the greatest tragedy (part one)

the greatest tragedy (part one)

the LORD God said, "it is not good for man to be alone. i will make a helper suitable for him."
Genesis 2:18

in perfection, it was not good for man to be alone. we find ourselves in a broken and fallen world, but Jesus came to redeem and restore. Scripture is Gods story of redemption. it's testimony after testimony revealing the character of our Creator. the One who was, who is, and who'll always be. we find ourselves caught up in His story. He beckons we stare at Him, stare at Jesus. to celebrate and imitate. only in Him will we find breath and life and every good thing.

marriage is a picture. it's the closet representation we have of Christ and the church, His bride. how did something so beautiful become so perverted and tainted? why does marriage bring about thoughts of heavy bonds and burden? when did it become a second rate pursuit?

our generations greatest tragedy is the destruction of marriage.

for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24

the very air we breath is poisoned, and this shouldn't come as a surprise. we are ambassadors in a foreign land. we battle our sinful nature and the enemy. everything became fractured at the fall, beauty ruined.

so how do we redeem relationships? how do we restore the beauty of marriage?
we have to understand the purpose of marriage. we have to understand Gods intended roles for men and women.

do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.
romans 12:2

we exist to know Him and make Him known. He is our greatest good. the purpose of marriage is to bring glory to God. isn't it funny how we've separated good from God? we constantly battle against believing that God wants to keep us from good. why can't we have sex with whomever, whenever we want? why must commitment precede our emotional and physical desires? why must men love by sacrificing, and why must women love by submitting? how often we believe that we know better than God... the Creator of the universe! if we say it aloud, it's comical. but that's exactly how we live.

we were created for relationship. when Jesus prayed before He was taken to the cross, He desired for us to be one, as He is one with the Father. (John 17:20-22) Jesus is our model for perfect relationship. God the Son (Jesus) submits to God the Father, and God the Holy Spirit submits to the Son. they're all equally God, but they each have distinct roles in the trinity. so too with us, male and female. we have equal value in the sight of God, both being created in His image, but we have distinct roles. God created us distinctly to serve the body, and these differences were given to bring Him glory.

the destruction of marriage began with the destruction of our distinct roles in relationship; the distinct roles modeled by Jesus, and laid out in scripture.

so what are our distinct roles?

God created man, and then He created women (from man) as a helpmate. He created adam, and then gave eve to adam to help adam attend to the directive God had given him. adams directive was two-fold; to govern and cultivate the earth. (Genesis 2:15) eve was given adams directive, in other words she was given to help adam accomplish his directive, she wasn't given her own. adam and eve together were given the second directive, be fruitful and multiply. neither adam or eve could accomplish these directives apart from each other. from the beginning in perfection, men and women were compliments to each other with distinct roles. (Genesis 1:28)

Jesus added one more directive after His resurrection; to be His ambassadors. (Matthew 28:16-20)

men are called to be Christs ambassadors, govern and cultivate the earth, and be fruitful and multiply. women are called to be Christs ambassadors and to help/assist a man in accomplishing His directives.

God gives each man a unique task in the overall directive in which to accomplish. women are called to one man to assist/help accomplish this task. at some point we decided we didn't like the roles God laid out for us, and began defining our roles as we pleased. we display by our words and actions that our ways are better then His. we lose sight of our distinct but equally valuable roles as men and women. lazy and idle men have relinquished their roles as leaders, and cultivators. while women have been deceived into believing that wife and mother are secondary pursuits.

our primary calling as men and women is to be Christs ambassadors, but God has given us, male and female, distinct roles to play in His story.

our primary role as men is to lead, cultivate, and multiply. women your primary role is to help/assist one man to lead, cultivate, and multiply.


for further study: Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson

the tide

the tide ebbs and flows

oceans roar

seas of calm

tossed to and fro

gliding gently

going under

rising swiftly

lost at sea

safely ashore

suffocating

breathing deeply

awaiting death

enjoying life

take me under

lead me home

i celebrate and imitate

"i celebrate the day" - relient k

and with this Christmas wish is missed
the point i could convey

if only i could find the words to say to let You know how much You've touched my life
because here is where You're finding me, in the exact same place as new year's eve

and from a lack of my persistency
we're less than half as close as i want to be

chorus:

and the first time
that You opened Your eyes did You realize that You would be my Savior

and the first breath that left Your lips
did You know that it would change this world forever

bridge:

to look back and think that
this baby would one day save me

in the hope that what You did
that you were born so i might really live

to look back and think that
this baby would one day save me

and so this Christmas i'll compare the things i've felt in prior years
to what this midnight made so clear
that You have come to meet me here

and i, i celebrate the day
that You were born to die
so i could one day pray for You to save my life

pray for you to save my life

the Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. we have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.
John 1:14

He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.
Romans 4:25

we are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. we implore you on Christ's behalf: be reconciled to God.
2 Cor 5:20

whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.
Matt 10:39

the battle wages

the dance begins
and dreams ensue

He loved
you received

He asked
you obeyed

He sustained
through want and plenty

but a new day beckoned
He led, you followed

you crossed his path
he crossed your path

he asked
you answered

he spoke, you listened
you spoke, he listened

He initiated, you reciprocated
He wooed, you drew near

you giggled, he laughed
he enjoyed, you delighted

he impassioned, you embodied
you shone, he radiated

He whispered, you listened
He led, you followed

you waited, he planed
you anticipated, he executed

pointing and reflecting
you reminded, he edified

he battled, you dreamed
you encouraged, he pursued

he asked, you trusted
you followed, he led

though each skirmish
step by step
dancing and dreaming